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Jack Southard


This multi-talented, exquisite specimen of a man has a weakness for steaming sackfuls of Krystals and sharing sewer system trivia in inappropriate settings. A Golden Eagle graduate of 1990, he sports his purple and gold with pride—and whenever possible. While at Tennessee Tech, Jack participated in “The Blizzard,” which involved throwing toilet paper onto the court after the Golden Eagles’ first basket of a certain home basketball game.

He hopes to introduce this tradition at FMA where he has worked since 2005, civilly “engineering” everything from pump stations to detention ponds. Jack loves to cook, and grills throughout the southeast cower in his presence. He plays guitar and trumpet to the general aplomb of his four children. He lives with them in Maryville.

  • Ninjaneer Name: Tight Jack

  • Favorite Quote: “I’m only one man.”~ Jack Southard

  • Guilty PleasureKing of Queens reruns, Jun Fan Gung Fu, and Calhoun’s barbeque ribs.

  • Dork Alert: Owns a 52-inch TV but has no cable, wears Wal-Mart sunglasses, and once played in a rock band called Blistered Chicken